2015 Jalopnik Batshit Babe Contestants

"McMike" (mcmike) 12/07/2015 at 22:14 • Filed to: batshitbabes2015

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Ladies and gentlemen, our 2015 pageant.

Miss One

Miss Two

Miss Three

Miss Four

Miss Five

Miss Six

Miss Seven

Miss Eight

Miss Nine

Miss Ten

Miss Eleven

Miss Twelve

Miss Thirteen

Miss Fourteen

!!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!!

Miss Sixteen

!!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!!

TheHondaBro > McMike 12/23/2014 at 16:37

0

Just heard about that story. I'd have just floored it.

Chris Clarke > McMike 12/23/2014 at 16:37

1

And so it begins.

Manuél Ferrari > McMike 12/26/2014 at 17:51

1

Why do these ones get bumped to 2015 when they happened in 2014?

Takuro Spirit > McMike 12/26/2014 at 17:57

14

Is it too late to add ONE more?

PushToStart > McMike 12/26/2014 at 18:00

1

whatttt we can't already have 2 2015 batshit babes if it isn't even 2015 yet!

PatBateman > Takuro Spirit 12/26/2014 at 18:06

2

This isn't a Knife Forum.

PatBateman > PushToStart 12/26/2014 at 18:06

1

Yes we can. #2 is cute. I'll allow it.

PatBateman > Manuél Ferrari 12/26/2014 at 18:07

6

At my office, 2014 business ended at 3:00 Tuesday. It's 2015 now.

Manuél Ferrari > PatBateman 12/26/2014 at 18:08

0

Lol

Check CL. I made a "Poor Pat" post

PatBateman > McMike 12/26/2014 at 18:08

0

MISS TWO SHOULD WIN THIS YEAR.

She probably won't, but YISSSSS.

Chris Clarke > McMike 12/26/2014 at 18:08

0

There might be some stiff competition this year.

EL_ULY > McMike 12/26/2014 at 18:20

3

Birddog > McMike 12/26/2014 at 18:38

8

Oh, I like her! She looks like the type you need a "Safe Word" for.

Steve in Manhattan > McMike 12/26/2014 at 19:51

2

Both stories have automotive components, and Miss 2 is adorable in her own stalkerish way, but Miss 1 takes it. That sort of batshit behavior catapults you right up to the top. Impersonating a police officer ... that's my girl!

McMike > Steve in Manhattan 12/26/2014 at 20:49

0

Don't forget to vote for this years babe of the year.

http://oppositelock.jalopnik.com/batshitbabes-2…

McMike > Manuél Ferrari 12/26/2014 at 20:52

1

In order to have the elimination round , and the final pageant over by the end of the year, I made the hard cutoff on Dec 15

McMike > PushToStart 12/26/2014 at 20:57

0

The cutoff for 2014 was dec 15, so there's some overlap.

I should probably the new contestants in my pocket until after we crown this years winner.

/pageant logistics.

Manuél Ferrari > McMike 12/26/2014 at 21:38

0

Ohh, that makes sense

PyramidHat > Birddog 12/29/2014 at 17:24

3

Just remember: "Harder" is a terrible safe word...

Tohru > Takuro Spirit 12/29/2014 at 17:25

1

Man, you photograph worse than me.

Tohru > PyramidHat 12/29/2014 at 17:30

7

The number one best foolproof safe word is her best friend's name. I tried it once and the sex stopped instantly and permanently. In hindsight I should have mentioned the idea of a safe word to her, but you can't dwell on the past.

VonBelmont > Takuro Spirit 01/09/2015 at 18:20

0

Feel like I've heard that name before...

thebigbossyboss > McMike 01/09/2015 at 18:29

0

I almost think #2 doesn't belong. Don't get me wrong her crime was terrible and wrong but there is almost no automotive component.

McMike > thebigbossyboss 01/09/2015 at 18:40

0

A Pennsylvania mother of three was allegedly caught having sex with a 17-year-old boy in a car at a local park in the middle of November

We've had several in-car sexytime contestants before.

Miss Sixteen 2014

Miss Seventeen 2012

Miss Thirteen 2011

Miss Fifteen 2011

Miss Eleven 2010 (sort of)

thebigbossyboss > McMike 01/09/2015 at 18:43

1

You are the ultimate batshit arbitrator so I defer to your wisdom. Thank you for all you do and replying to my concern.

Twinpowermeansoneturbo > McMike 01/09/2015 at 19:29

0

Miss 3

Racescort666 > McMike 01/26/2015 at 17:03

0

#teammissfive2015

uofime > McMike 01/26/2015 at 17:19

1

number 3 all the way

TopSirloin > McMike 01/26/2015 at 17:37

0

1,3 and 5 have no business being in the competition. Those are some seriously rough examples. 2 and 4 are bubble-babes as it is. They could go either way. Let's raise the threshold for what we consider "babes". Maybe even broaden the scope of the search to include more than Florida.

E. Julius > McMike 02/27/2015 at 17:06

1

This one almost looks like a psycho Ellen Page

scoob > McMike 02/27/2015 at 17:16

0

Contest over. She wins.

 > McMike 02/27/2015 at 20:20

0

Woof.

 > McMike 03/01/2015 at 10:31

0

New addition.

http://www.myfoxhouston.com/story/28223161…

McMike >  03/01/2015 at 10:35

1

What a terrible person.

JohnnyWasASchoolBoy > McMike 03/17/2015 at 11:57

0

Meth. She did all the meth.

Nick George > McMike 04/01/2015 at 16:13

0

Got a new one for ya... http://www.mercurynews.com/crime-courts/c…

burner'down > McMike 05/01/2015 at 16:06

1

It’s only May 1, but we have our winner for May 2015:

http://gawker.com/woman-texted-d…

McMike > burner'down 05/01/2015 at 16:22

0

Thanks for the tip, but our pageant has a “no fatality” rule.

burner'down > McMike 05/01/2015 at 16:26

0

Ah. Didn’t realize. It’s a good rule.

Party-vi > McMike 05/11/2015 at 16:24

9

Looks like Billy Connolly without facial hair.

SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie > McMike 05/11/2015 at 16:27

0

I still think that this one should be included -

http://oppositelock.jalopnik.com/woman-finds-be…

Shamoononon drives like a farmer > McMike 05/11/2015 at 16:31

0

Number 4 is just a year shy of being a victim. Not so cool.

McMike > SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie 05/11/2015 at 16:33

0

There’s a mug shot. Just need to find it on one of Kinja’s main sites. Jezebel, Gawker, etc..

SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie > McMike 05/11/2015 at 16:36

0

Ahh, didn’t realize that it had to be a Kinja site. Oppo doesn’t count? ;)

Textured Soy Protein > McMike 05/11/2015 at 16:47

0

If only #8 was my principal and #2 was my basketball coach, high school would’ve been a lot more fun.

DarkGemini > McMike 06/03/2015 at 17:12

0

Looks like we have our June contestant already.

http://fox5sandiego.com/2015/06/02/1m-…

McMike > DarkGemini 06/03/2015 at 17:23

1

The presense of a fatality disqualifies her.

Even we have standards.

SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie > McMike 06/10/2015 at 08:47

0

Only half of them are from Florida? I am dissapoint.

Megamullin > McMike 06/10/2015 at 09:12

0

Gonna have to vote Miss Six on this one. Flashes of Mickey Rourke.

For Sweden > McMike 08/25/2015 at 16:20

18

Holy crap #9 no contest I think even Sarah Palin would go gay for her.

x87172 > McMike 08/25/2015 at 16:21

0

Hello, ladies....

Snooder87 > For Sweden 08/25/2015 at 16:29

3

Are you implying Sarah Palin doesn’t already munch rugs?

Because I have seen a very credible documentary starring Lisa Ann that says otherwise.

BReLp7dzHM3ytYsE > McMike 08/25/2015 at 16:34

0

Nice.

ceanderson920 > McMike 08/25/2015 at 16:44

0

#9 is actually pretty fucking hot, she just keyed some chicks car that was allegedly cheating with her BF and can’t spell whore right. Does that qualify as batshit?

McMike > ceanderson920 08/25/2015 at 17:08

0

Close enough for us.

Steve in Manhattan > McMike 08/25/2015 at 18:21

0

Ms. 9, but only because there’s an automotive component.

pip bip - choose Corrour > For Sweden 08/26/2015 at 06:39

1

number 1 is the winner! you gotta admit it.

My citroen won't start > McMike 09/10/2015 at 17:24

1

Can we add one more?

McMike > My citroen won't start 09/10/2015 at 17:25

0

Needs to be car content.

My citroen won't start > McMike 09/10/2015 at 17:28

1

I maed mistaek

wiffleballtony > VonBelmont 09/10/2015 at 17:32

0

Not sure if you’re serious. That’s Screech from Saved by the Bell.

Herr Quattro - Has a 4-Motion > McMike 09/10/2015 at 17:40

0

I vote #10 as most batshit. Though I judge that SOLELY off the fact that there was a bullet IN the chamber!

ThreePumpTrump > McMike 09/10/2015 at 18:28

0

We need this chick on there!

http://gawker.com/where-ya-ass-w…

Matthew Keyser > McMike 09/10/2015 at 18:53

0

As a 17 year old boy, I am obligated to choose contestant number two. I mean at least I’d have a chance.

MuchWagon > McMike 09/10/2015 at 19:30

3

Isn’t there a Jezebel sub this can go on?

PanchoVilleneuve ST > McMike 09/17/2015 at 18:33

1

The fact that she did her thing like 3 minutes from my house makes her my pick for the best one ever.

Birddog > McMike 09/17/2015 at 20:17

0

Wait.. I’m cornfused? 2015 or 2014?

Agrajag > McMike 09/17/2015 at 21:32

0

It’s a shame this didn’t make any of the gawker sites. We could’ve had a celebrity on the list.

McMike > Birddog 09/17/2015 at 22:16

1

It is 2015.

Birddog > McMike 09/17/2015 at 22:23

0

It seems like I’m voting for #2 a second time.

Something about her eyes and a Safe Word.

McMike > Birddog 09/17/2015 at 22:32

1

The hard cutoff for each year’s pageant is in December so we have have the voting done in time for the end of the year. That’s why the first one (or two) have last year’s date on them.

Here is last year’s contestants, to prove that you haven’t voted for Iris before. :)

Birddog > McMike 09/17/2015 at 22:37

1

I’m not doubting. Just thought I was losing it for a minute.

I maintain the “Long live McMike” lifestyle.

wafflesnfalafel > For Sweden 10/12/2015 at 23:01

0

you can tell still is still super pissed too

jvirgs drives a Subaru > McMike 10/12/2015 at 23:53

0

http://oppositelock.kinja.com/a-new-batshit-…

Did you see this one?

Viggen > McMike 10/13/2015 at 00:29

0

I’ll vote for her, but I think we had better contestants last year.

McMike > jvirgs drives a Subaru 10/13/2015 at 05:29

0

I searched Kinja for her, no dice.

https://kinja.com/search?q=+Debr…

I only pull them from Gawker sites.

Mugshot is scary.

jvirgs drives a Subaru > McMike 10/13/2015 at 18:21

1

She did just make the front page. Torch read your mind

dogisbadob > McMike 10/13/2015 at 20:19

0

How about that Virginia parking nazi?

Flippy Uppy Headlight Enthusiast > McMike 10/13/2015 at 20:22

1

And what about the deranged dude contestants?

McMike > dogisbadob 10/13/2015 at 20:28

1

Get a mugshot and a front page article, and she’s in.

dogisbadob > McMike 10/13/2015 at 20:34

0

I don’t really read the troll page too much these days :(

M54B30 > McMike 10/13/2015 at 20:42

0

Calling #1, 3-7, 10, or 13 a babe is reallllllllly cheapening the word

Birddog > McMike 11/10/2015 at 23:34

0

Being of Irish descent I need to switch my favorite from Miss Two to Miss Twelve.

Oh, The Gingers get me every time.

Miss Fourteen? Nobody should look like that at 41. Geez o Pete! Lay off the drugs!

pip bip - choose Corrour > McMike 11/11/2015 at 02:17

0

classy tattoos

Wheelerguy > McMike 11/24/2015 at 20:14

0

Miss Photogenic

carry on my wayward sun > McMike 11/24/2015 at 20:22

0

Party don’t start til my ex walks in...

Chariotoflove > McMike 11/24/2015 at 20:23

0

Still sticking with 9, although 4 kinda makes my heart flutter a bit.

TR3 > Birddog 11/24/2015 at 20:24

0

Yeah, its 2015. Put down the pipe and maybe go get some munchies.

RazoE > VonBelmont 11/24/2015 at 20:31

0

Screech.

RazoE > McMike 11/24/2015 at 20:31

0

Her....definitely her.

boredalways > Party-vi 12/01/2015 at 22:18

0

Fuck you because I can’t unsee it!

desertdog5051 > McMike 12/01/2015 at 23:41

1

These are the dregs of society. And they all seem to shop where I work.

Brian, The Life of > McMike 12/02/2015 at 10:55

2

Truly a bumper crop this year!

Brian, The Life of > MuchWagon 12/02/2015 at 10:56

1

ARE YOU NEW HERE?!

MuchWagon > Brian, The Life of 12/02/2015 at 20:30

1

No. My comment isn’t even new here.

Spaceball-Two > McMike 12/07/2015 at 22:32

0

#9 with that resting bitch face.

petebmwm > McMike 12/08/2015 at 08:01

0

I’m torn between 2 and 9..........

Eberle-Hills-Cop > McMike 12/09/2015 at 17:40

0

Late entry?

http://patch.com/new-hampshire/…

McMike > Eberle-Hills-Cop 12/09/2015 at 18:14

0

She doesn’t qualify because she didn’t meet all the requirements:

Car related

A Gawker front page article

No fatalities

Mugshot

Better luck next year Lauren

SilverBRADo totaled his beigeslushboxmatrix > McMike 12/10/2015 at 12:24

1

Miss April 2012 is still my favorite

http://jalopnik.com/5916382/florid…